How to say it?

Hi All!

You know what to say but you are not sure how to say it. Have you felt like that ever?
Sometimes you are not satisfied with the how of it or worse, the message got distorted.

Of course, greeting card companies make a lot of money by stepping in this gap.
For example: one of the cards I remember from my school days, is one that carried this message from one friend to another traveling friend ' I wish you were hereabout than thereabout' . The best part is, it was not even sent to me. The recipient was happy to show it to me.

It kind of summarised the whole message of 'I am missing you!' and said it quite clearly in a memorable way.

Those were those good, real old days, before cellular/mobile phones and cheap or free texting /sms services.

Sms has become a very common way of getting in touch with people. Today , I can safely say that of the different ways I get in touch with people, sms is the second most preferred, next to voice calls. Meeting people???

No way!

It is proving to be very, very, difficult! What with the different work schedules of family members and the new Harry Potter movie to be watched, and the timing of the different sports events and not to miss, those festivals for which lots of shopping needs to be done. Then, if nothing else, there is the traffic! Meeting people, unless it is urgent and important, does not happen!

So, how does one say it?

Well, there is no set way.. whatever works between the two parties, I would say. You go with the rules for most formal communication, and rest easy. For informal ones, it is tricky, but we can start with the rules and add a touch of compassion. That works most often.

However, I can say how NOT to say it!


1. Don't choose the lazy option! That is, if the message needs to be told in person, don't sms.
2. Don't choose the wrong time and place. If you have a serious message to convey, don't walk in at dinner time. Especially, if you want the other person to do something for you, do so one-on-one, in a place where there is some privacy.
3. Don't use the wrong tone. eg: If you don't have authority over the other person, don't make it sound as though you do. Short sentences, beginning with the words 'You will..' sound authoritative.
4. Lastly but surely, really, not the least, don't use the wrong words! Put the message together and read it to yourself. Does it say what you want it to say? Can you pronounce all the words? Is the message conveyed in the right proportion?

You know what? These are not in anyway different from the basic principles of communication. They can be easily derived, if you focus on the most important element of all communication. Can you tell me what that is?

I would like to know what you think!

Email or comment with your responses..

Talk to you next week!

Happy Friendship Day!



Gayatri